Entabulator Rescues Renewables

By Kennedy Maize

Washington, D.C., May 21, 2010 — Thanks to the far-reaching and meticulous online research for which he is justifiably famous, my friend Glenn Schleede has answered the conundrum that stands in the way of widespread adoption of renewable energy technologies.

Writes Glenn, “I haven’t been able to verify this, but I’ve heard that DOE-EERE & NREL (possibly with help from GE), using a little less than $10,000,000,000 from stimulus funds, have developed and demonstrated a device that would solve the heretofore unsolvable problem of intermittent, volatile, and unreliable output from wind turbines.”

The device, described in the attached video, is the  Turbo entabulator. Says Schleede, “Allegedly, it will be available for only $750 M each once in mass production.

Apparently blue states will be allowed to compete for the location of the first manufacturing plant which is expected to require UP TO 8,923 construction workers and, once in operation, the plant would use UP TO 13,827 full time employees, not counting indirect and induced jobs in hotels, motels, restaurants, grocery stores, convenience stores, stock brokerages, rating agencies, law firms, environmental NGOs, trade associations, lobbying firms, Congressional staff offices and committees, gambling halls, police & fire departments, newsstands, bloggeries, science & engineering academies, and political action committees.”